It was a sunny warm evening, (May 14th, 2013) as I was resting in my dad's green recliner in his bedroom watching So You Think You Can Dance. My tummy was crampy but I didn't think anything of it. I figured it was false labor, or just Braxton Hicks contractions. So as any 40 week and 2 days pregnant lady would do, I went potty... my water broke and I actually didn't even know. So I took a bubble bath to calm my tummy and when I got out I started contracting every 2 minutes, (starting at 7:24 p.m. May 14th, 2013). I called my mom, Grandma T to you. She told me it was probably false labor as well and to lie on my side for 10 minutes to see if it would go away. It didn't so she told me to go for a walk. After the walk they got WAY stronger and I called my dad, who was at a meeting, mind you. Once he got home around 9 p.m. we were on our way to the hospital in West Jordan, UT. We were in Lehi, UT so it was a good 30-35 minute drive. (longest drive of my life). I got there and was evaluated by doctors and I was in early labor but dilated enough to get my epidural (thank goodness!). 17 hours later, my doctor came in and told me I had to get a Cesarean Section. I was terrified and immediately burst into tears. As they wheeled me back to the O.R. I was crying the whole time.
And then, at 1:38 p.m. you were born. Weighing 5 pounds 8.4 ounces and at the length of 18 inches. Hearing your cry was the most amazing thing. An immediate understanding that you were healthy. After 40 weeks and 2 days in my belly; It finally paid off. And then seeing you and holding you for the first time. Purely amazing.
Because of my Cesarean Section I was in the hospital for 4 days. I am so grateful for those four amazing, restless, emotionally packed days... Placement day, the day I signed papers was a very special, and sacred day for me, so I won't be sharing about the actual placement. But I will share about signing because I imagine you're very curious about that... I don't remember much because I was on so many medications and pretty sleep deprived. What I do remember: I was cuddling you and kissing you as much as I could. My caseworker told me that I needed to sign, if I was ready. I was. So she went through the 10 or so questions that she had to ask me, by law, to make sure I understood what I was doing. The whole time I was balling. She told me, "O.K., when you're ready sign here." I took a second, looked at my sister. And as I looked at her she nodded her head and I put the pen down on the paper and began to sign my name. The whole time I was almost screaming because of how much I was crying. After I signed, I kind of fell apart. Even more than I was before, ( I don't really know how that's possible...) From that moment on, you weren't mine anymore. You were your mommy's and daddy's. Yes, you're my little girl, and always will be. But it's not the same.
3 weeks and 6 days later, you're the most precious thing ever. You're truly a miracle. I feel so entirely blessed to be able to have made your mommy a mommy, and make your daddy a daddy. After years of tears and sadness, they found joy. In you...
I Love You, And I Mean It,
Mom
