This post is all over the place.....

As I sit here in my bed late at night I think to myself "why me? Why did Heavenly Father choose to have me carry a baby? Why? I'm so young"  

I know that it is his plan and he doesn't make mistakes. I cry every night because of how scared I am to give you away. I am not saying I am second guessing my decision I am just saying I'm really scared. I know my decision to place you for adoption is a very hard one, but it is the best choice. You're precious soul needs the best it can get. I know I can give you so much love. But I know your mommy and daddy can give you what you need. I love you, Darling. 

    You're what makes me happy. I feel your kicks, and when you get the hiccups it makes my day. To feel that you are progressing into a strong little girl is nothing but a miracle. 

      I've waited so long to meet you, feel your tiny hands and feet. Memorize your tiny features. But that day that I meet you will change my life forever. It will be the most emotionally filled 48 hours of my life. I will only get to be with you for 48 hours until I hand you to your mommy and daddy. I know it's the best thing for you though, it's never a goodbye; always a see you later. 

I can't wait to kiss your little fingers and snuggle your little body. I love you. 

  

    You are amazing baby girl. I want you to always know your mommy loves you. Not just your mommy but your birth mommy. 

 I can't wait to meet you little one. 

Sorry this post was so all over the place but at 11 o'clock  at night that's just how my brain works. 

I Love You, And I Mean It, 

Mom