Today is a rough day for a couple of reasons. I have been reading on your parents' old blog, where I first found them. They were the first couple I had ever looked at. When their blog page pulled up I immidiately knew they were the ones. Anyways, I was reading a post titled "Thankful for you" at the end your mommy ended it by saying, "come home soon, mom". I burst into tears. Somethings happen for a reason. I honestly believe that I got pregnant and made those choices for Chelsy to be a mom and Brent to be a dad.
I can't stop crying. The silliest things make me cry and stress out. Like thinking what if my house catches on fire and I can't get to my "Clara box" in time?! With school starting next week everything is scaring me. What if people are rude to me because of my decision to place. Most people that I haven't talked to in a couple months hound me with questions. And most days I don't feel like talking about it because its so hard. All I feel like doing is slamming their head onto a table when they ask me those questions. And for some reason they ask right at the moment when I'm the saddest.
I don't have many friends anymore because of my situation. All I do is sit at home and watch T.V. because I don't feel like moving. Which is bad because I have so much thinking time and all my thoughts lead to you. What if things were different? What if you weren't here. Well, my life would be so different. And so would your parents'. I thank my Heavenly Father every single day for you and your mommy and daddy. You saved me baby girl, you really did.
Love You, And I Mean It,
Mom
No comments:
Post a Comment