I Love You, Little One

"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed but my soul."

Sweet heart you have not a clue in the world how much you mean to me. Words cannot describe the love I have for you, little one. It is every minute of every day I think of you and the future you have in this world. You mean so much to me and I love you. My biggest fear is to think that you don't know that i love you. You are what makes me stronger. You're so amazing, little one. I love you with all my heart baby girl.


I'm going to go because I cannot stop crying (like usual)


Love You, And I Mean It,
Mom

I Hope You Know, Little One

I'm sorry it's been a while since I've written to you, darling. But I want you to know that I love you. I don't want you to ever feel like I placed you for adoption because I didn't love you. I did it because you are my world. And I want you to have the best life and future. And at my age I just can't give that to you. I know that I can give you love but that's not all a child needs.


       Today in church we were talking about trials. I am going through the biggest trial right now. But with Heavenly Father on my "side" listening to my prayers. I can get through this. I want you to know that if you're struggling you can always turn to The Lord for strength and peace. He has given me such strength in this and I know that I can always turn to him.



        I don't ever want you to feel like I don't love you. Because I do. You're amazing. You're beautiful, baby girl.



I would write more but I can't stop crying. I love you

Love You And I Mean It,
Mom

I Think About It Everyday

 

This me when i was a little girl(: teehee. Its so silly to think what youre going to look 

like. I cant wait for May when you are going to arrive.(: 

Love You, And I Mean It,

 Mom

A Little Bit of Honesty

Ill be honest right now, this is the hardest thing I have ever gone through and will ever go through
I'm not going to sugar coat a thing because that's not how I am. I'm terrified. So so so scared of not seeing my baby girl for the first month-1 year of your life. I understand its an open adoption and everything but I feel like I'm only going to be able to see you once a month max. I love you so much and I don't want to not see you. You're my world and you mean everything to me. I'm scared of the unknown in all of this. What if when you're older you won't want to see me? What if you feel like I placed you for adoption not out of love but out of abandonment. I placed you for adoption because I care about you more than anything and I want the best for my little baby girl. You mean so much and I can't take care of a child. I can hardly take care of myself. I want you to have everything you need and more and I know your mommy and daddy will provide that for you. You're beautiful baby girl and I know it. This is the hardest journey. I have been crying for the past hour and can't stop because of how scared I am. People don't get it. Unless they've been through it. It's unexplanitory. You're my everything and I seriously can't imagine life without you. Your kicks and flutters that keep me up all night long; I wouldn't trade them for a thing. The weird cravings and laugh-cries that I get; I honestly cherish them. You're a miracle. The fact that a 13 now 14 year old girl can carry such a blessing full term and healthy is amazing. Not many young women can do that. I love you. Please don't ever feel like I did this because I didn't love you.
You're amazing and you are nothing but a miracle


Love you, and I mean it,
Mom

A Roller Coaster Of A Ride

I can't even imagine what your mommy and daddy went through. Waiting for a birthmother. Thinking "what if we don't get "picked"  by anyone?" Thinking there's a possibility that we will have to wait 10 years to even be chosen.

      I was so very blessed to find your parents so soon. They're perfect.

one of my favorite memories with your parents was when we went and saw the zoo lights at the Hogle Zoo. On our way home we were driving and your dad started to sing. It may not be very funny or exciting to you but it was so silly to me. I hadn't ever really seen that side of him before(: It may have been embarrassing for him to have me laughing at him. I loved it though. <3

    Its been really hard, this journey of pregnancy. Feeling sick every morning for like 2 months straight. (Thats not an exaggeration) It was 24/7. But I'm so thankful for you. you changed my life. This is Heavenly Father's plan and he knows what's best for everyone. You're a miracle, honey.

       One amazing thing if pregnancy is feeling the first flutters, and then  feeling full on kicks. Actually, as I'm writing to you youre elbowing me. Haha, I love it though. Youre a true miracle.

Sorry this post was a little of everything. (:

Love you, And I Mean It,
Mom

Grandpa Bob

This is your Grandpa Bob! He's my daddy! Hes a really cool guy. He loves guns, camping, family time, and anything outdoors. He loves you so much. he may not be happy with the choices i made but he loves you. you came into this world fora reason. well, anyways he loves you!! 

Love you, And I mean it,

Mom

This is a Photo of your Auntie and Uncles, and Grandma T!

This is a Photo of your Auntie and Uncles, and Grandma T!
(Left to right) Uncle Austin, Auntie Cara, Me, Grandma Tanya, and Uncle Tyler!
We love you darling(:
Love you, And I mean it,
Mom